He told me they were just razor bumps!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
