Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
