Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How external is "for external use only"?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
