All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
