he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
