Duck Duck Cougar?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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