That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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