i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
