Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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