Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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