I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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