What a fucking waste of an outfit
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
