My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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