'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
