Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
