scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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