we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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