We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
