Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
