Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
