I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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