When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
