Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
