just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
