Whod you bang
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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