You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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