the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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