i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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