So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
