Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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