I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
