Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
