so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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