thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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