The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
