You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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