It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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