What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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