im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
