I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
