he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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