Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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