So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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