It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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