Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
