I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
