Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
