Little spoons don't ask big questions
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
