making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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