oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
