Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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