i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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